"Did I Really Save the Dalai Lama?" and Other Metaphysical Musings

Here we go again!  I have officially accepted a new teaching job, and will be revitalizing my role as an American Expat in...

Hang on, hang on.  What am I doing?  I've given no context.  I've developed no mood, no setting.  I'm jumping straight into the climax of the story without building even a modicum of suspense.  I can't just give this stuff away.  Instead, I will provide a series of photo clues for my intrepid (and largely imaginary) readers who may appreciate a bit of intrigue, sleuthing, or just downright guessing.  And for those of you left wondering, "How on earth did you end up there?" I will explain a bit about the vagaries of recruitment in the world of international teaching along the way.

Clue 1: This country is comprised of 70% mountainous terrain.  Seventy
percent of the mountainous terrain, by contrast, is comprised of my drooling
anticipation.

Clue 2: Though ranking easily outside of the top 100 countries in
total area, this country still boasts about 342 km/225 mi of
coastline.

Clue 3: Ruins of this Greek amphitheater can be found
alongside the remains of Roman, Byzantine, and Ottoman
structures in the south of this country.

The first step for teachers who want to take their show on the road is to apply for an organization such as Search Associates (Search) or International School Services (ISS).  Sure, you can go rogue and just start emailing your cover letter and CV out to any school that catches your fancy, but there are some major drawbacks to this.  Schools will use Search and ISS to vet potential hires, because they require an application process that ensures the candidates are credentialed and experienced.  Similarly, teachers can rest somewhat easier knowing that Search and ISS have standards for the schools that they advertise and promote as well.  This doesn't foolproof the system on either end, but it can give you a leg up on the competition, and it will also mean that the school is at least legitimate.  For teaching candidates, membership costs around $200 for either one and will be good for three years or until they get you a job, whichever comes first.

Once accepted, you will need to update and upload all of your important documents.  CV, cover letter, copies of degrees and certification, letters of recommendation, confidential references...the works.  You will have a chance to do all of this and get your ducks in a row before the schools and hiring committees can see your candidate page.  Once you go live, then you can start searching for jobs by continent, country, school, and/or position.  Many international schools start posting their vacancies in late November, and the game is on.  

Clue 4: Personal safety seems to be pretty much...personal.
Do you.

Clue 5: This contraption apparently seats 9 and is described as a 
"moped-driven tricycle."

Clue 6: Ffs

Clue 7: Okay, so there will be bears in my new city.  At least its umbrella
game is strong.

This is when the craziness begins, though it is a very peculiar strand of crazy.  Every teacher will come into this with some dream school or dream location that they see when they close their eyes and someone says "international school."  The prospect of this place has likely tantalized the applicant for many months or years, and this place, without fail, will never ever ever ever hire you.  It's a rule.  You will not end up here.  I'm not being cynical, because this isn't necessarily a bad thing.  It might even be you that turns them down in the end.

In the moment, though, there is nothing more frustrating.  You will diligently check the "vacancies" page on Search or ISS every morning, and every morning you will be greeted by the news that there is no position that you are qualified for at your dream school.  In the event that you are, you will receive no replies to your masterfully composed inquiry, your polite follow up, nor your blatant pleading.  Your mind will go to dark places, and you will firmly believe that you have missed something, and that there is something you have done, or haven't done, that is causing you to be overlooked.  You begin to widen your net a little.  Okay, I might not be able to get hired at that school, but maybe I could get hired in the same city.  Okay, same country?  Continent, then.  Somewhere with mountains?  Hills???

And then you will get a message from Chad.  Not like "Chad Higgins in HR", but the country, Chad.  "Fuck," you will think, "I'm fucked."

"Oh wait...$30,000 per year in savings, you say?  Well hello, Chad.  Yes, I was just about to call you..."

Clues 8 - 12: Beginning in the 1950s, the leader of this country
ordered the construction of over 700,000 bunkers to protect
them in a war that never came.  

While these bunkers may or may not have been effective in battle, they have
proved sturdy over the years, having been largely re-purposed into restaurants
and small shops.   

According to my Lonely Planet guide, the leader and  "Supreme
Comrade" of the country tested the reliability of the bunkers by
having the chief engineer of the project go inside of one while it
was shelled by a tank.  His survival of the episode indicates that
it was probably a larger one than this.  

This one, now found on a playground, belies the paranoia
responsible for its construction.

I'm not sure if it is adventurous or absurdly cautious to book a
night at this bed and breakfast, but sign me up.

Chad?  Can you sell out like that?  This has zero of the things that you were hoping for.  "Yes, but what about those other zeroes?" you ask, torturing yourself.  "I've been meaning to pick that saxophone back up.  I haven't played since 8th grade, but this would be a great time to develop some hobbies."  And while you are pondering the adequate compensation for 2 years of living in a tiny, incestuous expat bubble while stranded on some sweltering Saharan compound, you will hear from China.  And then Vietnam.  And then Latvia.  And so on.  That dream job is still denying your very existence, but at least now you can step back from the ledge a little bit and think more rationally about everything.

Just kidding.  Instead, you go all Walter Mitty on it.  You haven't actually interviewed for a single position, yet you have swum in 4 different seas, mastered 11 new languages, and discovered a subterranean Roman ruin.  You have summered as a tour guide in Dubrovnik, where you met Emilia Clarke playing Daenerys Targaryen on the set of King's Landing, fell in love, and named all of your children after her dragons.  You have saved the life of the Dalai Lama, and have written a best-selling metaphysical memoir on whether or not you really accomplished anything by it, given that he would have promptly reincarnated.  You have been unanimously declared "teacher of the year" by no fewer than 7 different educational foundations, and all of your students have received full rides to Yale under your tutelage.  

No, no, no...K.I.T., keep it together.  Take an ordered approach.  Make lists, create charts, compare curricula, read reviews, visit tourism sites, talk to friends with teaching or travel experience in the region.

"Greetings from South Africa!" will then appear in your inbox, and suddenly you are considering the likelihood that Nelson Mandela has only faked his death so that he can pursue teaching in Cape Town, unmolested by his fame.  "I bet he's Department Chair by now..."

Clue 13: Eastern and western cuisine mingle in this cross-roads country, and its overall mild climate allows for the growth of olives and citrus fruits.  A popular dessert is baklava, and the alcoholic drink of choice is raki, usually as
an aperitif.

Clue 14: The most famous author of this country
was awarded the inaugural Man Booker
International Prize in 2005, and is frequently
discussed as a candidate for the Nobel Prize
in Literature for his body of work.

Clue 15: For centuries, this country's "Kanun" guided social  norms and
interactions in the absence of a centralized government.  It is
responsible for both its reputation for hospitality and kindness
as well as for its decades-long blood feuds between families
that force many to remain prisoners in their homes.

Clue 16: While this country didn't exactly exist when she was born, it is the
nationality of Mother Teresa, aka Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu.

And don't get me started on job fairs.  Many teachers will be able to find jobs exclusively through email and Skype, and I say go for it if you can.  If , however, you prefer to meet in person or if you really want to see what can come out of left field, then you can sign up for one (or more) of the job fairs offered all over the world.

Once there, you will be based in a hotel, convention center, or school, and on the first morning of the fair, you will sign up for interviews.  This sounds nice and calm, but the reality of it is that each school will have a booth, and for about 2 hours you and all of the other teaching candidates will line up at the schools you are interested in, hand them your CVs, and convince them in about 2 minutes that you are deserving of an interview.  Choose carefully, though, because you can get caught in the lines of popular schools for 10-15 minutes or longer, while all of the early interview spots everywhere else are being populated by your competition.  It's intense to say the least, and it doesn't get any less-so when you take a look at the marathon schedule of 10 interviews that you have assembled for Saturday alone.  Or, even worse, you didn't get many at all and you are now in panic mode.

But enough.  You get the picture.  It has been a quietly wild couple of months inside my head, and I have now accepted a new teaching job!

Have you guessed it?  Have you scrolled down here already to look ahead?  Either way, the answer is..........

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ALBANIA!

I will be living right on the coast in Durrës!  Photo Credit

Durrës at night. Photo Credit

I will be moving to Durrës (DUR - uhs), Albania for the next 2 years. I will teach History and Humanities at Albanian College Durrës while I explore the Balkans and beyond.  Albania, though, was not on my radar when I began searching in the fall.  Actually, I was pretty sure that I would be heading back to South America.

Which I suppose is exactly, as explained previously, why I'm not.

I had some disappointments early and often in that region, and the more I looked into Albania, the more I opened my mind to it. Or maybe it wasn't my mind. Yes, I went down the checklist and it got all of the "rational" points: exciting professional opportunities, amazing access to the outdoors, great location for international travel, an approachable language, and good savings potential. But so did some other places I was considering. I was not actually contacted by a school in Chad, but there were some other suitors, and some other schools that I had reached out to.

Ultimately, all of those aforementioned trips into inner space were not mere idle driftings of the mind.  It was my subconscious attempt to somehow grasp the magnitude of the impending changes.  It was fumbling with a decision that carries every ounce of my coming routines and adventures, my yet-unknown friendships, and the entirety of my professional and personal life for the next two years.  You can't figure that out from a checklist.  Just let your mind wander through it all, and see where you end up.  I let my daydreaming run free as I marveled at photos of Albania's beautifully diverse landscape, its quirky culture, and its fascinating disregard for convention.  And when it came down to it, it just felt right.

As for my time back in the US and leaving again so soon...those thoughts are more complicated, and are forthcoming in my next post.

I don't want to do long distance either, Emilia.
I'll scout some filming locations in Albania
for season 7.  Photo Credit